If you’ve heard these phrases, you might be dealing with a master manipulator.
Have you walked away from a conversation feeling confused, guilty, or like you were the bad guy—even when you know you weren’t? That’s not just a misunderstanding; it’s manipulation in action. Narcissists have a way with words that can twist reality, making you question your own thoughts, feelings, and even your sanity.
They don’t do it with obvious insults or aggression. Instead, they use subtle, calculated phrases that keep you trapped in their web without realizing it. If certain conversations leave you feeling drained, second-guessing yourself, or constantly trying to prove your worth, pay attention. You might be dealing with a master manipulator—and these phrases are their favorite weapons.
1. “You’re too sensitive.”
This phrase is a classic way to shut you down and make you doubt your own feelings. Instead of acknowledging how their words or actions hurt you, a narcissist flips it around, making it seem like the problem is you, says Sophia Dembling for Psychology Today. Suddenly, you’re questioning yourself—was it really that bad? Are you overreacting? That’s exactly what they want.
It’s a way to dismiss your emotions so they don’t have to take responsibility. The truth? Your feelings are valid. If something hurt you, it hurt you. Don’t let anyone make you feel like your emotions are a weakness or an overreaction.
2. “I never said that.”
Gaslighting at its finest. You remember exactly what they said, but when you bring it up, they act like it never happened. Now you’re stuck questioning your reality, wondering if you somehow misunderstood, according to Meaghan Rice PsyD., LPC in an article for Talkspace. Spoiler alert: you didn’t. Narcissists use this tactic to rewrite history, so they never have to admit they were wrong.
Over time, it chips away at your confidence in your own perception of reality. If someone constantly denies things they’ve said or done—even when you know for a fact they happened—trust yourself. They aren’t forgetful; they’re manipulating you on purpose.
3. “I was just joking.”
Ever had someone say something cruel, then backpedal when you call them out? That’s this phrase in action. Narcissists love using “jokes” as a cover for insults, jabs, and put-downs, as mentioned by Jon Rhodes on his site Narcissisms. But the moment you react, they flip the script, making you seem uptight, humorless, or overly dramatic. It’s a way to test boundaries while keeping control.
A real joke is meant to be funny for everyone—not just the person saying it. If their “jokes” always come at your expense, they aren’t joking. They’re being mean and using humor as a shield to avoid consequences.
4. “You’re overthinking this.”
Translation: “I don’t want to deal with the fact that you’re onto me.” Narcissists use this phrase to make you feel ridiculous for noticing red flags. It’s a subtle way of telling you to shut up without actually saying it. Maybe you’ve caught them in a lie, noticed an inconsistency, or just have a gut feeling that something is off.
Instead of giving you a real answer, they dismiss your concerns entirely. Trust your instincts. If something doesn’t feel right, there’s probably a reason. You’re not overthinking—you’re seeing the truth they don’t want you to see.
5. “You’re the only one who has a problem with this.”
Narcissists love to make you feel isolated. By saying this, they imply that you’re the unreasonable one, while everyone else is perfectly fine with their behavior. Suddenly, you’re doubting yourself. Are you making a big deal out of nothing? Maybe you are the problem. Spoiler: You’re not.
Just because other people tolerate something doesn’t mean it’s okay. And in many cases, they’re lying—others probably do have a problem with it, but they’ve just been worn down into silence. Your feelings matter. Don’t let them convince you otherwise.
6. “You’re lucky I put up with you.”
This one is all about control. They want you to feel like they’re doing you a favor by staying in your life, as if you’re so difficult or unlovable that no one else would ever want you. Over time, this can destroy your self-worth, making you afraid to walk away.
But let’s be real: anyone who actually loves you wouldn’t say this. Love isn’t about making someone feel like a burden. If someone makes you feel like you should be grateful just for their presence, they aren’t a gift—they’re a trap.
7. “No one else would ever put up with you.”
Similar to the last phrase, but with an extra punch. This one is meant to make you feel completely dependent on them. If you believe no one else will love or accept you, you’re more likely to stay, even when they treat you badly. But here’s the truth: people who care about you don’t need to convince you that you’re unworthy of love.
They show you love through actions. If someone makes you feel like they’re your only option, remind yourself that there are people out there who will treat you with kindness and respect.
8. “You’re imagining things.”
This is another gaslighting favorite. Instead of addressing your concerns, they make you feel like you’re making things up. Caught them in a lie? “You’re imagining things.” Feel like something isn’t adding up? “You’re being paranoid.” This phrase is designed to make you doubt yourself so they can keep control.
But your intuition isn’t lying to you. If something feels off, it probably is. The more someone tries to convince you that you’re wrong about everything, the more you should question their motives—not your own sanity.
9. “After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you treat me?”
Guilt-tripping at its finest. Narcissists use this phrase to make you feel like you owe them—no matter what they’ve done to you. Maybe they bought you a gift, did you a favor, or supported you in some way. But instead of it being a genuine act of kindness, it becomes leverage.
Now, any time you stand up for yourself, they throw it in your face. Healthy relationships aren’t transactional. If someone keeps a running tally of everything they’ve ever done for you just to use it as emotional blackmail, that’s not generosity—it’s manipulation.
10. “I wouldn’t have done that if you didn’t make me.”
Blaming you for their own actions is one of the oldest tricks in the book. Whether it’s an outburst, a cruel remark, or even cheating, narcissists will always find a way to turn it around on you. They want you to believe that their bad behavior is actually your fault, which keeps you stuck in a cycle of trying to “fix” things.
But here’s the truth: people are responsible for their own actions. If someone refuses to take accountability and always makes you the scapegoat, they’re manipulating you into excusing their toxic behavior.
11. “You’re not remembering that right.”
This is just another way to gaslight you. If you bring up something they did or said, and they immediately tell you that your memory is wrong, be careful. It’s not that they actually think you’re mistaken—it’s that they want to rewrite history.
Over time, this kind of manipulation can make you question your own reality, making you easier to control. A healthy person will have a conversation about misunderstandings. A narcissist will make you feel crazy for even bringing it up.
12. “You’re so dramatic.”
Narcissists love to minimize your emotions. They don’t want to deal with the fact that their actions have consequences, so they label you as “dramatic” to avoid responsibility. If you express hurt, frustration, or even just try to set a boundary, suddenly you’re “too much.”
But the real issue isn’t that you’re dramatic—it’s that they don’t want to acknowledge how they’ve treated you. Your emotions are not an overreaction. If someone constantly makes you feel like you’re wrong for expressing yourself, that’s a huge red flag.
13. “Nobody else has a problem with me.”
This phrase is meant to isolate you and make you feel like you’re the problem. If no one else is complaining, then clearly, it must be you—at least, that’s what they want you to think. But just because others aren’t speaking up doesn’t mean they’re not suffering too. Many people stay silent to avoid conflict, or they’ve been manipulated just like you.
Narcissists thrive on making their victims feel alone, convincing them that they’re the only one who sees an issue. If their behavior hurts you, that’s enough reason to take it seriously. You don’t need a crowd to validate your experience.
14. “You’ll never find someone like me.”
That’s the point—you don’t want someone like them. This phrase is pure manipulation, designed to make you doubt your ability to move on. Narcissists want you to believe they’re special, irreplaceable, and that leaving them would be the biggest mistake of your life. But in reality, they fear losing their control over you.
Healthy relationships don’t rely on fear or intimidation to keep someone around. If someone truly loved and respected you, they wouldn’t try to convince you that you’re incapable of finding happiness without them. Walking away isn’t a loss—it’s a step toward freedom and peace.