They might shower you with kindness, but these 11 secret signs expose the bitter truth they don’t want you to know.
There’s something deeply unsettling about suspecting someone close to you doesn’t actually like you. They smile at the right moments, say all the right things, and never directly cross a line—but your instincts keep whispering that something feels off. That nagging gut feeling is often right.
People who harbor hidden resentment or jealousy can be masterful at masking their real emotions. Rather than being openly rude or dismissive, they’ll go to great lengths to keep up appearances. It’s not about screaming insults or causing drama—it’s about subtle behaviors that betray a deeper dislike they’re unwilling to admit. These quiet signals are easy to miss if you’re not paying attention.
If you’ve been second-guessing someone’s intentions lately, these 11 telltale signs can help you spot who’s pretending to like you—while hiding something very different underneath.
1. They shower you with compliments but they feel empty.
On the surface, they seem like your biggest fan. They toss compliments your way constantly—praising your outfit, your ideas, your achievements. But something doesn’t feel right. The flattery is just a little too frequent, a little too polished, and lacks the warmth of sincerity.
It’s often over-the-top or oddly specific, like they’re reading from a script rather than speaking from the heart. Deep down, you feel a disconnect. That hollow feeling in your gut is trying to tell you something important: they’re not complimenting you out of admiration, but obligation, Danielle Sham of Yahoo! Life mentioned. They’re putting on a friendly mask—and hoping you don’t look too closely.
2. They agree with everything you say, but it feels off.
While it’s nice to have someone who sees things your way, this kind of constant agreement can start to feel strange. No one in real life agrees with everything all the time, Kevin Horton of Medium.com reported. When someone echoes your every opinion and never offers a different perspective, it’s worth questioning why.
This could be a tactic to avoid authentic conversation—or avoid revealing that they don’t actually care what you think. It can feel like they’re building a wall of false harmony to keep things comfortable and fake. It’s less about connection and more about maintaining control over the narrative between you.
3. They laugh at all your jokes, even the bad ones.
A genuine friend might chuckle at your worst puns or silly comments because they know and love your sense of humor. But when someone laughs at everything—even things that aren’t funny—it can feel strange. Their laughter may come across as rehearsed or just a bit too loud.
They might be using laughter to fill space or avoid real emotion. It’s a subtle way of pretending they enjoy your company while keeping their guard up. Over time, that kind of performative laughter can feel more like a spotlight than a bond—and it leaves you wondering what’s real and what’s for show, writers at Psychologs stated.
4. They ask questions but never seem interested in the answers.
At first glance, they seem curious. They ask how you’re doing, what you’re working on, or how your family is. But their eyes glaze over, or they quickly change the subject. You find yourself sharing, but the connection feels like a one-way street.
These questions are often more about appearances than actual concern. It gives them an easy way to seem engaged without the emotional labor of truly being present. You walk away feeling unheard—and maybe even a little dismissed. That’s not just forgetfulness. That’s emotional distance disguised as small talk.
5. They’re “busy” whenever you suggest meeting up.
They say they’d love to see you—but somehow, they’re always unavailable. Their calendar is packed. They cancel plans last-minute. They suggest rescheduling, but it never happens. You start to wonder if they’re dodging you.
The truth is, someone who wants to spend time with you will make time. Constant busyness is often a polite way of keeping distance while avoiding confrontation. They don’t want to hurt your feelings—but they also don’t want to be close. It’s a soft rejection wrapped in a smile.
6. They offer “advice” that feels more like criticism.
They claim they’re just trying to help, but their suggestions hit a little too hard. Maybe they question your decisions under the guise of “support,” or offer solutions to problems you never asked them to solve. Their tone may be condescending, even if their words sound kind.
This kind of “advice” is often rooted in passive aggression. They may be using helpfulness as a way to mask judgment. Rather than build you up, their input subtly undermines your confidence. If it stings more than it soothes, it’s not real support—it’s resentment peeking through.
7. They go silent when good things happen to you.
You share exciting news—maybe a promotion, a personal win, or something you’re proud of—and they barely react. No congratulations. No enthusiasm. Just a quick nod or awkward silence. It’s like your joy makes them uncomfortable.
That’s because someone who secretly dislikes you doesn’t want to celebrate your success. They might feel threatened, jealous, or resentful. Instead of cheering you on, they retreat into silence or deflect the topic. That absence of support is louder than any insult. It’s the silence of someone who can’t pretend to be happy for you.
8. They share your secrets under the guise of “concern.”
You confided in them because you thought you could trust them. But then you hear your private story repeated by someone else—usually prefaced with, “I’m just really worried about them.” It feels like a betrayal masked as caring.
This kind of gossip is especially sneaky because it hides behind the veil of concern. But if they were truly worried, they’d come to you, not the rumor mill. Sharing your secrets is a power move. It’s a way to control your narrative and paint themselves as the thoughtful one—while slowly pulling the rug out from under you.
9. They give backhanded compliments you can’t quite process.
“You look great today—so much better than usual!” Sound familiar? A backhanded compliment is one of the oldest tricks in the fake-friend playbook. It sounds like praise, but it cuts just enough to leave you off-balance.
These comments are crafted to make you question yourself. They hit your insecurities in ways that feel oddly targeted. Over time, they can chip away at your self-worth while keeping the person delivering them in a position of subtle control. It’s a way to keep you insecure—without ever saying anything outright cruel.
10. They always “forget” to invite you to group events.
You see photos from a dinner or party and realize you weren’t invited. When you bring it up, they act surprised—“Oh, I thought you were busy!” or “It must’ve slipped my mind!” But after the third or fourth time, it’s hard to believe it’s just forgetfulness.
Excluding you from group gatherings is a passive way to create emotional distance. It allows them to maintain the illusion of friendship in private while drawing clear boundaries in public. They don’t want you close enough to be part of the group—but not far enough to look like a jerk.
11. They act overly nice to your face but gossip behind your back.
They’re all compliments and kindness in person. But then someone tells you what they really said when you weren’t around—and it’s not pretty. Gossip is their tool of choice, and you’re the subject more often than you’d like.
This two-faced behavior is exhausting to navigate. It creates confusion, self-doubt, and mistrust. If someone speaks badly about you to others, no matter how sweet they are in your presence, believe what they do—not what they say. Their true opinion of you is in those whispers, not their smiles.