You might be sabotaging your relationships and making everyone secretly resent you.
Without realizing it, your habits and casual comments might be irritating the very people you care about most. It’s not about being a bad person—it’s about how certain behaviors, especially ones that feel normal or harmless to you, can feel outdated, condescending, or frustrating to younger folks who think and live differently. And when those behaviors pile up over time, they can start to chip away at the connection.
The truth is, these generational gaps are real. But they’re also bridgeable. With just a little self-awareness and a willingness to adapt, you can repair old rifts, strengthen current bonds, and show the people around you that you’re still evolving. Here are twelve common habits that might be secretly pushing people away—and what to do instead.
1. Stop Saying, “In My Day, Things Were Better Than They Are Now.”
It’s completely normal to feel nostalgic for the past, especially if those memories are tied to good times and simpler days. But when you constantly say that the world was better back then, it can sound like you’re dismissing the real and valid challenges people face now. Life isn’t necessarily easier today—it’s just different, with new pressures, economic hurdles, and societal shifts that didn’t exist before, Diana Divecha reported in the Greater Good Magazine.
Instead of comparing everything to how it “used to be,” try sharing a personal story without the moral lesson attached. People—especially younger generations—are far more open to hearing about your past when it feels like you’re offering a glimpse into your life rather than a lecture. Context and curiosity are everything when it comes to bridging generational understanding.
2. Quit Complaining About Technology Like It’s Ruining the World.
Yes, the digital age can be overwhelming. But grumbling about phones, social media, or the way people “don’t talk anymore” just makes you sound disconnected. Technology isn’t the enemy—it’s a tool, as stated by Emily Reynolds in The Guardian. And like any tool, its impact depends on how it’s used. Younger people don’t see it as a curse; they see it as how the world works now.
Instead of resisting every update, look for ways tech might actually improve your life—whether it’s through FaceTiming a grandchild, discovering a new podcast, or using apps to stay healthy. Ask for help when you don’t understand something. That vulnerability can actually be an incredible bonding moment between you and someone younger.
3. Don’t Treat “Boomer Humor” Like It’s Universally Funny.
Those old stand-up routines about nagging wives or clueless teenagers may have gotten laughs back in the day, but comedy has evolved. What once passed for a joke might now come off as sexist, cynical, or just tone-deaf. Humor should connect us, not create distance or awkward silences, as mentioned by editors at Reader’s Digest. If people aren’t laughing, it’s not because they “can’t take a joke”—it’s likely because the joke just doesn’t land anymore.
Rather than recycling the same tired one-liners, try telling funny stories that include a touch of humility or self-awareness. People of all ages love humor that’s honest and a little vulnerable. It shows you don’t take yourself too seriously and that you’re still growing and learning like the rest of us.
4. Please Stop Referring to Millennials and Gen Z as “Lazy.”
This is one of the quickest ways to alienate people under 40. Most younger adults today are working multiple jobs, freelancing, side hustling, and navigating a totally different economic landscape than Boomers did. They’re not lazy—they’re just overwhelmed and sometimes exhausted by the pace and cost of modern life.
By calling them lazy, you’re essentially denying the legitimacy of their struggle. That kind of judgment doesn’t motivate or inspire—it shuts down dialogue. Instead, try asking questions about their work, their goals, or what they’re juggling. Showing genuine interest in their path opens the door for more honest, meaningful connection.
5. Enough with the Constant Weather Updates as Small Talk.
Sure, talking about the weather is a classic fallback—it’s easy and non-controversial. But when every interaction starts with the temperature or chance of rain, it can make conversations feel stale and shallow. Younger folks often crave dialogue that feels more relevant or emotionally engaging.
Instead of defaulting to weather reports, ask what they’ve been into lately. Maybe it’s a TV series, a hobby, or a funny video they saw online. These kinds of questions open up pathways for real connection and make you seem curious, current, and open to their world. You don’t need deep philosophical chats—just something a little more human.
6. Stop Assuming Everyone Shares Your Political Views.
Just because you’ve lived longer doesn’t mean your opinions are above question. Talking politics as if your view is the obvious truth can come across as arrogant and dismissive. Younger generations tend to value nuance, diversity, and context—and they’re more likely to push back on black-and-white thinking.
It’s okay to talk about your beliefs, but it’s even more powerful to ask what others think and genuinely listen. When someone sees that you’re willing to hear their point of view—even if you don’t agree—it creates respect and connection. Conversation, not conversion, should be the goal.
7. Please Don’t Give Unsolicited Advice Like You Know Best.
Advice without a request often feels like criticism in disguise. You might mean well, but when you jump in with a “you should…” or “here’s what I’d do,” it can feel like you don’t trust the other person’s ability to figure things out. Most people just want to be heard—not fixed.
Instead of advice, offer encouragement. Say something like, “I’ve dealt with something similar—let me know if you ever want to hear how I handled it.” That way, you’re opening the door without barging in. You’ll be surprised how often people will take you up on it when they feel respected.
8. Don’t Act Like Younger Generations Don’t Know How to Work Hard.
There’s a difference between working long hours at a factory job and managing a side hustle, remote gig, and freelance project all at once. Just because the work looks different now doesn’t mean it’s less real or less demanding. When you minimize the effort younger people are putting in, it feels like you’re erasing their lived experience.
Instead of drawing battle lines over who had it harder, try acknowledging how the nature of work has changed. Express admiration for their creativity, flexibility, or resilience. You don’t need to compare hardships—just show that you see and respect their effort.
9. Stop Using Outdated Slang Like It’s Still Cool.
Throwing out words like “radical,” “groovy,” or “hubba hubba” can feel charming for a moment—but overusing them makes it seem like you’re stuck in a time warp. Younger people may smile politely, but too much retro lingo can come off as trying too hard to be relatable, which has the opposite effect.
Instead, just talk like yourself. You don’t need to adopt Gen Z slang or ditch every vintage phrase you love, but try to be conscious of how often you lean on them. Authenticity is far more attractive than novelty when it comes to connecting across generations.
10. Please Stop Acting Like Your Music Was the Only Music That Mattered.
Yes, the ‘60s and ‘70s had some legendary sounds, but every generation has its own soundtrack. Dismissing modern music as “noise” just makes you seem dismissive of the things others love. Musical taste is deeply personal, and putting down someone’s favorite artist can feel like putting them down too.
Instead, try asking what music they’re into and actually give it a listen. You don’t have to become a fan, but showing curiosity and openness can lead to some surprising and fun discoveries. You might even bond over a genre you never thought you’d enjoy.
11. Quit Expecting Everyone to Drop Everything to Call You Back.
Phone calls may feel more personal to you, but they’re often stressful and inconvenient to younger generations. Many people now communicate asynchronously—through texts, voice notes, or even memes—because it fits into their busy lives better. If you don’t get a call back right away, it’s usually not personal.
The more you can adapt to their communication style, the more connected you’ll feel. Ask what method they prefer and try to meet them halfway. You’ll seem more flexible and respectful of their time, which can make all the difference in how often you hear from them.
12. Stop Assuming You’re Always the Most Experienced Voice in the Room.
Experience is valuable, but it doesn’t mean you have the monopoly on wisdom. Younger people bring fresh insights, modern perspectives, and knowledge of things you may never have encountered. When you constantly frame your point of view as the definitive one, it can shut down meaningful exchange.
Try to see your experience as a tool, not a weapon. Share it humbly, and make space for others to teach you something new. Being open to learning—even later in life—is one of the surest ways to stay relevant, connected, and respected by everyone around you.