These warning signs could reveal a hidden hatred for women that’s more dangerous than you realize.
You might assume you’d recognize a misogynist immediately—someone brash, rude, or openly hateful. But in reality, many of the most harmful attitudes toward women are cloaked in charm, humor, or even politeness. Misogyny doesn’t always come with a raised voice or blatant slurs. Often, it’s woven into subtle remarks, offhand jokes, dismissive behaviors, and deeply ingrained assumptions that get normalized over time.
Whether you’re dating someone new or have someone in your life whose behavior is starting to feel off, it’s worth looking a little closer. These signs might seem small at first, but together, they paint a picture of someone who may carry a deep, and often unspoken, resentment toward women. Don’t ignore the red flags—because what starts small can evolve into something far more toxic.
1. He “Jokes” About Women in a Way That Makes You Uncomfortable
If his go-to humor revolves around mocking women, that’s not just poor taste—it’s a serious warning sign. Some men use so-called jokes as a sneaky way to express their real opinions, assuming they’ll get a pass because they’re “just being funny,” Phil Stark of Psychology Today reported. But these jokes often carry a bitter undertone, with the punchline always aimed at women’s intelligence, bodies, emotions, or capabilities.
And if you call him out, he’ll likely get defensive: “Relax, it’s a joke!” or “You’re too sensitive.” This reaction says a lot. Instead of reflecting on how his words made you feel, he gaslights you into thinking you’re overreacting. Humor shouldn’t come at the cost of someone’s dignity. If it regularly does, there’s nothing funny about it.
2. He Constantly Interrupts You and Other Women
Being interrupted occasionally is annoying. But when it happens repeatedly—especially by one man, in one-sided conversations—it reveals something deeper. Interrupting a woman mid-sentence or dismissing her opinion as soon as she opens her mouth is a quiet but clear way of expressing dominance. It sends the message that your voice matters less, that your ideas don’t carry weight.
This behavior isn’t always loud or aggressive. Sometimes it’s subtle—changing the subject, speaking over you just as you’re making a point, or “correcting” you unnecessarily. Over time, it chips away at your confidence and self-expression. A man who can’t stop talking long enough to truly listen may not see women as equals—and that’s not something to overlook, as mentioned by Darcy Reeder of Medium.
3. He Has Strong Opinions About “Women’s Roles”
Watch how he talks about women’s responsibilities—at home, at work, and in relationships. If he’s stuck on the idea that women should behave a certain way, dress modestly, cook, clean, or take on emotional labor simply because of their gender, you’re likely dealing with someone who sees women through a narrow, outdated lens.
Misogyny thrives on rigid expectations, Joel Levin stated in Share My Lesson. A man with this mindset may seem polite or even charming at first, but his worldview hinges on control and tradition, not equality. He may not come out and say, “I think women should stay in the kitchen,” but his subtle disapproval when women step outside these roles speaks volumes.
4. He Can’t Handle Successful Women
Does he get weird when you talk about your accomplishments? Does he downplay successful female public figures or critique women in leadership positions more harshly than men? That’s no coincidence. For many men with hidden misogynistic views, a successful woman feels threatening. Her confidence challenges their deeply rooted beliefs about gender dynamics.
Instead of being proud or inspired, he may act dismissive, irritated, or condescending. He might even joke that a woman “must’ve slept her way to the top” or say she’s “too ambitious.” These comments aren’t harmless—they’re projections of insecurity. A man who feels the need to belittle powerful women is likely struggling with his own fragile ego.
5. He Criticizes How Women Look, Even Strangers
Pay attention to how he talks about women’s appearances—especially those he doesn’t know. If he constantly critiques women on the street, on TV, or online, it’s not about standards or taste. It’s about entitlement. He feels it’s his right to judge women as though they exist for his approval.
These kinds of comments are dehumanizing. They reduce women to their looks and reinforce the idea that their value is based on how attractive he finds them. It’s also a control tactic: by making women feel self-conscious or not “good enough,” he gains subtle power over them. When someone talks about women like they’re on display, he’s showing you how little he truly respects them.
6. He Thinks “Not All Men” Is a Legitimate Defense
If every time you bring up sexism, harassment, or women’s issues, he jumps in with “Not all men are like that,” he’s missing the point. This phrase is a common derailment tactic, shifting the focus from women’s lived experiences to defending male egos. It minimizes the problem and refuses to acknowledge the patterns of behavior that hurt women on a large scale.
Empathy requires listening without defensiveness. A man who constantly needs to protect the image of “men” as a group is likely too uncomfortable to confront real issues. His inability to sit with uncomfortable truths may stem from a deeper resistance to seeing women’s perspectives as valid or important.
7. He Blames Women for His Problems
If every setback in his life somehow links back to a woman—an ex, his mother, a boss, or “women these days”—you’re looking at a pattern of blame that can’t be ignored. This mindset often stems from entitlement. When life doesn’t go his way, he looks for someone to fault, and women are an easy target.
It’s especially alarming when he accuses women of being manipulative, cold, or the source of his emotional pain without ever reflecting on his own role in things. This victim mentality often hides an inability—or refusal—to grow. If you find yourself being blamed for his moods or problems, you’re likely standing in for all the women he’s resented in the past.
8. He’s Quick to Label Women as “Crazy”
Calling women “crazy,” “psycho,” or “over-emotional” isn’t just immature—it’s a way to silence and discredit them. Whether he’s talking about exes, female coworkers, or public figures, these labels are red flags. They strip women of credibility and paint them as irrational, regardless of how justified their emotions or actions may be.
This tactic is often used to dodge accountability. Instead of reflecting on how he may have contributed to conflict or discomfort, he writes the woman off as unstable. Over time, this kind of language not only reveals his own insecurity, but it trains others—especially women—to second-guess their instincts and responses.
9. He Can’t Stand Seeing Women in the Spotlight
Notice how he talks about women who are visible and respected—actresses, politicians, activists, or even influencers. Does he mock them, question their intelligence, or suggest they don’t deserve their success? That’s not just criticism—it’s contempt. Many misogynists feel a visceral discomfort with women being admired or powerful.
This reaction isn’t about the individual woman—it’s about the idea of female influence. If he regularly undercuts women’s achievements or refuses to give them credit, he’s revealing a deep discomfort with women having autonomy or visibility. It’s not just annoying—it’s a belief system you’ll eventually be up against.
10. He Talks About Feminism Like It’s a Dirty Word
Feminism isn’t radical or anti-male—it’s the belief in gender equality. But if he dismisses it, mocks it, or claims feminists are “man-haters,” he’s likely showing his true feelings about women’s rights. This knee-jerk reaction usually comes from a misunderstanding of what feminism actually stands for—or from fear of losing power and control.
He might argue that women “already have equality” or say things like “men have it worse now.” These comments aren’t just ignorant—they’re dismissive. They reveal a refusal to acknowledge the realities of gender inequality and a lack of genuine respect for the progress women have fought to make.
11. He Only Respects Women He Finds “Classy”
Respect isn’t something women should have to earn by fitting into someone’s narrow ideal. If he only treats women well when they’re “modest,” “well-spoken,” or dressed a certain way, he’s placing conditional value on their humanity. This attitude suggests that some women deserve dignity, while others don’t.
This mindset is rooted in control—deciding which women are “good” or “bad” based on how well they conform to his standards. But women aren’t categories or archetypes—they’re individuals. If his respect hinges on how much a woman caters to his ideals, then it’s not really respect at all. It’s judgment wearing a polite mask.