Some unconventional relationship rules might actually strengthen your bond.
Relationships thrive on communication, trust, and mutual respect, but some widely accepted “rules” may do more harm than good. In fact, certain taboos—those behaviors or practices often deemed unacceptable—can actually contribute to a stronger, healthier partnership.
While society may frown upon these unconventional approaches, many couples swear by them to maintain happiness and longevity in their relationships. If you’ve ever questioned traditional relationship advice, you might find that breaking a few of these so-called taboos could be the key to deepening your connection and avoiding unnecessary conflicts.
1. Sleeping in separate bedrooms can improve intimacy
Many couples assume that sharing a bed every night is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. However, sleep disturbances caused by snoring, restlessness, or differing sleep schedules can lead to frustration and resentment. Sleeping apart allows both partners to get better rest, leading to improved moods and energy levels, which in turn fosters a stronger connection during waking hours, according to Marriage.com.
Far from signaling trouble, separate bedrooms can enhance intimacy by creating a sense of novelty and personal space. Partners can still schedule time for cuddling or intimacy before heading to their respective sleeping arrangements. This practice encourages quality interactions instead of obligatory coexistence, making shared moments feel more intentional and appreciated.
2. Having separate bank accounts fosters financial independence
The idea that couples must combine all finances is outdated and, in some cases, counterproductive. Maintaining separate bank accounts allows each partner to retain financial autonomy while still contributing to shared expenses. This arrangement prevents power imbalances, reduces money-related conflicts, and ensures that both individuals maintain a sense of personal responsibility, as reported by Suzie Orman.
Couples who prioritize financial independence often experience greater peace of mind and fewer financial disputes. Knowing that each person is in control of their own spending and savings fosters mutual respect and trust. It also eliminates the feeling of needing to seek permission for purchases, reducing financial resentment and encouraging healthier discussions about money.
3. Keeping some secrets can be beneficial
Honesty is crucial in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean complete transparency is always the best policy. Some personal thoughts, past experiences, or minor details don’t need to be shared if they serve no purpose other than to create unnecessary tension, as stated by Very Well Mind. Protecting certain aspects of one’s privacy can actually preserve the harmony of a relationship.
This doesn’t mean lying or withholding essential truths, but rather recognizing that selective discretion can prevent unnecessary conflicts. Whether it’s keeping quiet about minor annoyances or choosing not to disclose every fleeting thought, strategic privacy can help couples maintain peace and avoid petty arguments that erode connection over time.
4. Spending time apart strengthens connection
Spending all your free time together might seem romantic, but it can actually lead to relationship burnout. Having separate hobbies, friendships, and interests gives each partner the space to grow individually, which in turn keeps the relationship dynamic and engaging.
A little distance creates anticipation and appreciation for time spent together. It allows each person to bring fresh experiences and new perspectives to the relationship rather than feeling trapped in an endless cycle of togetherness. Couples who embrace this taboo often find they have a stronger bond in the long run.
5. Arguing can be healthy for relationships
Conflict avoidance is often seen as the key to a peaceful relationship, but suppressing disagreements can actually breed resentment. Arguing in a constructive and respectful way allows couples to express their emotions, address issues, and find solutions before minor annoyances turn into major problems.
Healthy arguments help partners understand each other’s needs and viewpoints better. When handled with mutual respect, disagreements can lead to growth, stronger problem-solving skills, and deeper emotional intimacy. The key is to focus on resolution rather than winning the argument.
6. Flirting with others can boost attraction
Many people believe that flirting outside a relationship is a slippery slope to cheating, but some couples find that a little harmless flirting enhances their confidence and attraction to each other. It can serve as a reminder that both partners are desirable and have the ability to draw interest from others.
As long as both individuals set clear boundaries and remain committed, light-hearted flirting can keep the energy in a relationship fresh and exciting. It reinforces the idea that attraction isn’t limited to monogamy, which can make partners appreciate each other even more.
7. Scheduling sex keeps passion alive
The idea of planning intimacy might seem unromantic, but in long-term relationships, waiting for spontaneity can lead to a dry spell. Couples who schedule time for physical connection treat it as a priority rather than an afterthought.
By setting aside intentional time for intimacy, couples ensure that physical closeness doesn’t get lost in the shuffle of daily life. This approach creates anticipation and excitement, making those moments feel just as passionate as spontaneous encounters.
8. Not always putting your partner first is important
The belief that your partner should always be your top priority can sometimes lead to self-neglect. A healthy relationship involves two whole, fulfilled individuals who can support each other without sacrificing their own needs and well-being.
By maintaining personal goals, friendships, and self-care routines, partners bring the best versions of themselves into the relationship. This balance fosters respect and prevents codependency, making the relationship more stable and fulfilling.
9. Celebrating big events separately can be a good thing
Society expects couples to spend birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries together, but some partners find that celebrating separately reduces stress and enhances enjoyment. Not every event needs to be shared to have meaning.
When each partner spends special occasions in a way that truly fulfills them—whether with friends, family, or alone—they can return to the relationship feeling happy and refreshed. This can be particularly beneficial for couples with differing traditions or social preferences.
10. Having separate friend groups is healthy
While mutual friends are great, expecting your partner to be involved in every social gathering can be exhausting. Some relationships thrive when each partner maintains their own social circles, allowing for diverse experiences and conversations.
Independent friendships prevent relationship stagnation and ensure that both individuals have support systems outside of each other. This reduces pressure on the relationship and prevents partners from feeling smothered.
11. Ignoring unsolicited relationship advice is essential
Friends, family, and even social norms often dictate how a relationship “should” function. However, blindly following outside opinions can lead to unnecessary pressure and dissatisfaction. Every couple is unique, and what works for one may not work for another.
Couples who focus on what makes them happy—rather than conforming to societal expectations—tend to have longer, healthier partnerships. Ignoring well-meaning but unsolicited advice allows partners to create a relationship dynamic that truly fits their needs.