If someone says these cold-hearted phrases to you, they’re not just rude—they lack basic human empathy.
Some people have a way of making you feel like your emotions don’t matter at all. Whether they’re oblivious or just don’t care, their words can be cold, dismissive, and even cruel. It’s frustrating when you’re looking for understanding, only to be met with indifference. Y
ou might brush it off at first, but over time, these remarks can chip away at your confidence and self-worth. If you’ve ever felt unheard or invalidated, chances are you’ve encountered someone who completely lacks empathy.
1. “That Sounds Like a You Problem.”
Ouch. This phrase is the ultimate way to dismiss someone’s struggles without an ounce of care. Instead of offering even the slightest bit of empathy, it shoves the issue right back onto the person, as if their feelings don’t matter at all. It’s a cold, calculated way of saying, “Not my concern,” without actually saying it. If someone hits you with this one, take note—they’re making it clear that your emotions are not their priority.
2. “I Don’t Have Time for This Drama.”
Translation: “Your feelings are an inconvenience to me.” Sure, some situations can be overblown, but labeling everything as “drama” is just a lazy way to shut someone down. It instantly invalidates real concerns and paints the person sharing their feelings as irrational. When someone uses this phrase, they’re essentially saying they’d rather walk away than offer support. If you hear this often, don’t expect compassion from them when you really need it.
3. “You’re Too Sensitive—Just Get Over It.”
Ever had your emotions brushed aside like they were nothing? This phrase is a classic way of turning the blame back on you. Instead of acknowledging they might have said something hurtful, they make it your fault for reacting at all. It’s dismissive, condescending, and—let’s be honest—just plain mean. Nobody likes feeling unheard, and if someone regularly tells you to “get over it,” they’re showing you exactly how little they care.
4. “I’m Just Being Honest—Don’t Take It Personally.”
Honesty is great, but this phrase is just a thin excuse to be cruel without consequence. People who use this love to disguise rudeness as “truth,” expecting you to just accept it. The reality? If someone genuinely cared about your feelings, they’d find a way to be honest without tearing you down. The “don’t take it personally” part is especially frustrating—it dismisses any reaction you might have, as if the problem is you, not them.
5. “It’s Not That Big of a Deal.”
Just because they don’t think it’s a big deal doesn’t mean it isn’t important to you. This phrase minimizes feelings in the worst way, making the person on the receiving end feel small and ridiculous. It’s a go-to for people who lack empathy because it completely shuts down meaningful conversation. When someone says this, they’re not interested in understanding your perspective—they just want you to stop talking about it.
6. “You Always Make Everything About You.”
This one cuts deep because it instantly flips the script. You’re expressing something that hurt you, but suddenly, you’re the selfish one? It’s a sneaky way to dodge accountability while making you feel guilty for even bringing it up. People who say this regularly aren’t interested in listening or self-reflection. Instead, they’d rather deflect and make you feel like the problem. If someone keeps using this phrase, they probably don’t care how you feel at all.
7. “I’m Not Here to Babysit Your Feelings.”
Compassion isn’t babysitting. But to someone with no empathy, any level of emotional care feels like an exhausting burden. This phrase makes it clear that they don’t want to deal with your emotions, no matter how valid they are. It’s a harsh way of saying, “Figure it out on your own,” and it leaves no room for genuine connection. If someone regularly dismisses your emotions this way, don’t expect them to be there when you need them.
8. “Other People Have It Worse, You Know.”
Yes, other people have struggles, but that doesn’t make yours any less real. This phrase is a classic guilt trip, designed to make you feel like you’re overreacting for having emotions at all. It’s dismissive and completely unnecessary. Imagine breaking your arm and being told, “Well, at least you didn’t break both.” Would that make the pain any better? Exactly. People who truly care will validate your feelings instead of comparing them.
9. “You’re Overthinking This—Relax.”
It sounds harmless, but this phrase is just another way of telling someone their feelings don’t matter. If something is bothering you, you have a right to process it without being made to feel ridiculous. People who say this usually don’t want to deal with the conversation at all. Instead of offering support, they push the problem aside like it’s nothing. If someone is constantly telling you to “relax” when you’re upset, chances are, they’re not listening.
10. “I Guess You Just Want to Play the Victim.”
Instant gaslighting. This phrase is designed to make you question yourself and feel bad for even bringing up an issue. Instead of addressing the problem, the person saying this makes it sound like you’re being dramatic or manipulative. It’s a way to silence you, making you feel like you’re in the wrong for having emotions at all. If someone regularly throws this phrase at you, they’re not just lacking empathy—they’re trying to control the narrative.
11. “That’s Just How I Am—Take It or Leave It.”
Translation: “I have no intention of growing, changing, or caring about how my words affect you.” This phrase is a huge red flag. It’s a lazy way for someone to excuse their hurtful behavior while making it your problem instead of theirs. Everyone has flaws, but people who care about you will at least try to be better. If someone keeps saying this, don’t expect them to ever take your feelings into consideration.
12. “Wow, You’re Really Making a Big Deal Out of Nothing.”
Just because they don’t think it’s important doesn’t mean it’s nothing. This phrase is a surefire way to make someone feel silly for caring. It minimizes emotions and instantly makes you second-guess yourself. People who use this phrase frequently aren’t interested in understanding or supporting you. They just want to shut the conversation down. If someone keeps telling you that your concerns are “nothing,” take a step back and notice how often they dismiss you.
13. “I Don’t Have the Energy for This Right Now.”
Of course, sometimes people are drained, and that’s understandable. But when this phrase is used repeatedly, it’s often just an excuse to avoid emotional responsibility. It sends the message that your feelings are too much work, as if their comfort matters more than your need for support. If someone is always “too tired” to care about your emotions but magically has energy for everything else, they might not be as invested in your well-being as you are in theirs.
14. “I Can’t Control How You Feel.”
Technically, that’s true—but this phrase is usually just a way to dodge accountability. While no one can control how another person reacts, they can be mindful of how their words and actions affect others. When someone says this, they’re making it clear that they have no interest in adjusting their behavior, no matter how much it hurts you. It’s a classic way to deflect blame and keep themselves from having to show any real empathy.