A boy’s path to manhood is hard to navigate without a map.
The conversation around the challenges facing young men in 2025 is growing louder, and at its heart is a recurring theme: a profound absence of guidance. For generations, boys learned what it meant to be a good man by observing the fathers, uncles, and mentors in their lives. As society has changed, those traditional sources of positive male role modeling have become increasingly scarce for many.
This void is not a minor issue; it’s a crisis that leaves young men unmoored, and its consequences are breaking them in quiet but devastating ways.
1. They absorb a toxic version of masculinity online.
Nature abhors a vacuum, and when real-life role models are absent, young men will look for them online. Unfortunately, the loudest voices in the digital space are often the most toxic. The “manosphere” is filled with influencers who promote a cartoonish version of masculinity based on wealth, dominance over women, and emotional suppression. This becomes their primary blueprint for what a man is.
Without a father or mentor to provide a real-world counterbalance, they start to believe that respect is earned through aggression and that vulnerability is weakness, as reported by Medium.com. This digital indoctrination provides easy answers but builds a deeply unhealthy and often misogynistic foundation for their identity, setting them up for failure in their relationships.
2. They don’t learn how to process their emotions.
One of the most important things a strong male role model does is demonstrate how to handle difficult emotions—sadness, fear, disappointment—in a healthy way. They show that it’s okay to be vulnerable and that talking about problems is a sign of strength, not weakness. An absent or emotionally distant father figure teaches the opposite lesson through silence.
Boys who are only ever told to “man up” or “stop crying” learn to suppress their feelings, which often leads to them festering and re-emerging as anger, aggression, or substance abuse, according to The Open University. They are left with a painfully limited emotional toolkit where anger is the only acceptable feeling to express, which damages their relationships and their own mental health.
3. They struggle to build a healthy work ethic.
A positive role model demonstrates the value of discipline, responsibility, and showing up every day, even when it’s hard. They teach the quiet satisfaction of a job well done and the importance of being a reliable colleague and provider. This isn’t taught in a lecture; it’s learned through years of quiet observation of a father or mentor heading off to work.
Without that consistent example, the abstract concept of a work ethic can feel meaningless. Young men may struggle with motivation, have difficulty holding down a steady job, or fail to understand the connection between daily effort and long-term success, The Abwell Group shared. They are left without a practical understanding of the discipline required to build a stable and fulfilling career.
4. They lack a blueprint for healthy romantic relationships.
A young man often learns how to treat a partner with respect, kindness, and empathy by watching how his father or another key male figure treats the women in their life. A positive role model demonstrates that a healthy relationship is a partnership of equals built on mutual support and communication, not on control or dominance.
Without this crucial example, young men are left to piece together a script from pornography, movies, and their peers. This can lead to a warped understanding of intimacy, consent, and commitment. It breaks their ability to form the secure, loving, and equitable partnerships that are foundational to a happy life.
5. They are more prone to destructive, risky behavior.
A present and engaged mentor or father figure acts as a crucial guardrail during the turbulent years of adolescence and young adulthood. They provide the guidance, boundaries, and consequences that help temper a young man’s natural inclination toward risk-taking. This steadying influence is a powerful protective factor that helps them navigate a world of dangerous temptations.
When that guardrail is missing, young men are far more likely to engage in destructive behaviors like substance abuse, reckless driving, fighting, and criminal activity. They are missing the voice of experience that can warn them of the long-term consequences of a single, impulsive decision, leaving them to learn life’s hardest lessons on their own.
6. Their academic potential is often squandered.
For many boys, academic engagement is strongly linked to having a male role model who values and encourages education. When a father or mentor shows an interest in their schoolwork, celebrates their intellectual curiosity, and models a life of learning, it sends a powerful message that school is important. The absence of this encouragement can be devastating.
National data consistently shows that boys from father-absent homes have higher dropout rates and lower academic achievement. They can begin to see school as irrelevant or “uncool,” a perception that is not challenged by a guiding male figure, leading them to squander their potential long before they reach adulthood.
7. They are left without a roadmap for fatherhood.
The cycle of fatherlessness is one of its most tragic consequences. A young man who grows up without an engaged father has no firsthand experience of what a good dad does. He never saw how a father balances discipline with affection, how he provides for his family, or how he shows up for his children day after day.
When it comes time for him to become a father himself, he is working without a map. He is forced to invent the role from scratch, often repeating the same mistakes that were made with him. This lack of a positive blueprint makes it incredibly difficult to break the cycle and be the present, supportive father his own children need.
8. They struggle to handle failure and adversity.
A crucial role of a mentor is to teach resilience. They model how to confront a challenge, how to persevere through setbacks, and how to get back up after being knocked down. They teach that failure is not a final judgment but an opportunity to learn and grow stronger. This is one of the most valuable life lessons a young man can learn.
Without this guidance, failure can feel catastrophic and deeply personal. A young man may develop a crippling fear of taking risks or a tendency to give up at the first sign of difficulty. He hasn’t learned that adversity is a normal part of life, leaving him brittle and ill-equipped to handle life’s inevitable challenges.
9. They are missing critical practical life skills.
There is a whole category of practical knowledge that is often passed down from a father or grandfather. This can include basic financial literacy like how to create a budget or understand credit, simple car maintenance like how to change a tire or check the oil, and essential home repair skills. These are the small lessons in self-sufficiency that build confidence.
While these skills can be learned from anyone, the absence of a male role model often creates a significant gap in this hands-on knowledge. This leaves a young man feeling incompetent and unprepared for the practical demands of adult life, forcing him to learn through costly trial and error.
10. They have a deep-seated fear of commitment.
Seeing a healthy, long-term marriage or partnership up close provides a powerful model for a young man. It shows him that commitment is not a trap or a loss of freedom, but a source of strength, stability, and profound happiness. A positive role model demonstrates that loving and providing for a family is a noble and fulfilling life path.
When a young man grows up without this example, or with an example of broken relationships, commitment can seem terrifying and pointless. He may struggle to form lasting bonds, drifting from one superficial relationship to the next because he has never seen what a dedicated, loving partnership actually looks like in practice.
11. Their male friendships remain superficial.
A strong father or mentor figure shows a boy that male relationships can be built on more than just shared activities, competition, and joking around. They model that it’s possible for men to be vulnerable with each other, to offer emotional support, and to build friendships based on deep trust and loyalty. This provides a blueprint for healthy, non-toxic male bonding.
Without this example, a young man’s friendships may never move beyond a superficial level. They may feel unable to open up to their friends about their struggles, fearing judgment or ridicule. This leaves them emotionally isolated even when they are surrounded by other men, a lonely and precarious way to live.
12. They are left with a profound sense of aimlessness.
Ultimately, the most critical role of a mentor is to help a young man figure out what kind of man he wants to become. Through their example, their advice, and their unwavering support, they help him build a moral compass and a sense of purpose. They provide a vision of a responsible, honorable, and fulfilling adult life that he can aspire to.
Without this guiding presence, a young man can be left to drift through life without a clear sense of his own values, goals, or direction. He is missing the person who should have helped him connect his daily actions to a larger life purpose, leaving him with a quiet but persistent feeling of being lost.