Why millennials and Gen Z are opening up about their fathers’ flaws.
“Daddy issues” have become a catchphrase for the complex feelings many younger adults harbor toward their fathers. Millennials and Gen Z are increasingly vocal about their experiences, shining a light on generational gaps, emotional neglect, and societal shifts that have shaped their lives.
While the term can feel overused or trivialized, the stories behind it reveal deeply personal struggles and shared frustrations with how fatherhood has impacted their lives.
1. They didn’t express love in a meaningful way.
For many, the lack of verbal or physical affection from fathers left a deep emotional void, says the authors at Alive Counselling. Older generations of fathers often adhered to traditional, stoic roles, viewing open expressions of love as unnecessary or weak. As a result, their children were left to interpret their worth through actions, which sometimes felt distant or transactional.
Millennials and Gen Z are challenging these norms, advocating for emotional transparency and vulnerability in relationships. They emphasize that expressing love isn’t just a luxury but a necessity for building strong, lasting connections.
2. They prioritized work over family time.
A common grievance is fathers who were always too busy working to spend quality time at home, according to Suzanne Blake at Newsweek. For some, their absence created a gap in understanding, trust, and shared experiences. Even if their efforts were driven by the noble goal of providing, their children often felt they came second to professional obligations.
Today’s younger generations value balance and quality time over financial success. They question whether material stability is worth the emotional cost of missed soccer games, family dinners, or milestones.
3. They dismissed mental health struggles as weakness.
Many Millennials and Gen Z remember sharing their struggles with fathers who responded with indifference or skepticism. Phrases like “toughen up” or “it’s all in your head” made them feel invalidated and alone in their battles. This lack of support often exacerbated feelings of isolation and anxiety.
Younger generations are now breaking the stigma surrounding mental health, making it a central topic in their lives. They’re calling out the older mindset that equates vulnerability with weakness, advocating instead for empathy and understanding, as mentioned by Gloria Steinem at Peachey Counselling.
4. They imposed outdated gender roles.
Rigid expectations about masculinity and femininity have left many younger adults feeling constrained. Fathers who discouraged emotional expression in boys or pushed domestic responsibilities solely onto girls inadvertently reinforced limiting stereotypes. These experiences have sparked resentment among those who grew up longing for more freedom to define themselves.
Millennials and Gen Z are rejecting these outdated roles, embracing fluidity in gender and identity. They’re pushing back against the narratives they were raised with, challenging fathers to reconsider their views and adapt to modern values.
5. They used discipline as a form of control.
Harsh punishments and authoritarian parenting styles are recurring complaints among younger generations. For some, discipline crossed the line into emotional or physical harm, leaving lasting scars. Fathers who ruled with an iron fist often failed to create a sense of safety or mutual respect at home.
Now, Millennials and Gen Z are advocating for more compassionate and collaborative approaches to parenting. They believe discipline should teach, not terrorize, emphasizing understanding over punishment.
6. They struggled to apologize for their mistakes.
Some fathers found it difficult to admit when they were wrong, perpetuating an environment of unresolved tension. Apologies were rare, leaving children to feel their feelings were invalid or unimportant. This inability to take accountability often strained relationships over time.
Millennials and Gen Z are demanding more accountability in relationships, including with their parents. They argue that an apology, when deserved, is an essential step toward healing and mutual respect. By modeling accountability themselves, they hope to set a new standard for intergenerational understanding.
7. They weren’t emotionally available.
Emotionally distant fathers often created an atmosphere of detachment at home. Conversations stayed surface-level, and emotional needs went unmet. This lack of connection left children feeling misunderstood or invisible in their father’s eyes.
Younger generations are advocating for a culture of emotional availability, where vulnerability is celebrated rather than avoided. They emphasize the importance of fathers being active participants in their children’s emotional lives, fostering connections that go beyond provision and protection.
8. They perpetuated toxic masculinity.
Many fathers unintentionally passed down harmful beliefs about what it means to be a man. They equated strength with dominance, vulnerability with weakness, and success with suppressing emotions. These lessons have had a profound effect on how their children navigate relationships and self-worth.
Millennials and Gen Z are challenging these ideals, encouraging men to embrace vulnerability and reject toxic behaviors.
9. They avoided difficult conversations.
Avoidance of sensitive topics—whether about relationships, sex, or emotions—was a common tactic for many fathers. This left younger generations to fend for themselves, often without guidance or support during pivotal moments in their lives.
Millennials and Gen Z are calling for more open dialogue, even on uncomfortable subjects. They believe honest communication fosters trust and helps address the challenges that naturally arise in family dynamics.
10. They compared their children to others.
Comparisons to siblings, cousins, or even strangers were often used as a motivational tactic, but they frequently had the opposite effect. For many, this created a sense of inadequacy and a lingering pressure to measure up to unrealistic standards.
Younger generations are advocating for affirmations and individuality, urging parents to celebrate their children’s unique strengths instead of placing them in a competitive framework.
11. They ignored their children’s passions.
A lack of interest or support in hobbies, talents, or career aspirations left many feeling undervalued. Fathers who dismissed these passions often unintentionally stifled their children’s confidence and creativity.
Millennials and Gen Z are striving to break this cycle, advocating for encouragement and curiosity in parenting. They see validation and support as essential in helping children realize their potential and pursue fulfilling lives.
12. They didn’t prioritize emotional healing.
For some, fathers never addressed their own unresolved traumas, inadvertently passing down cycles of pain. These unhealed wounds created barriers to emotional intimacy, leaving a legacy of dysfunction and hurt.
Younger generations are prioritizing mental health and emotional healing, recognizing that addressing these issues is essential for breaking generational cycles.